WHOEVER BUYS THIS FOR ME WINS MY ETERNAL LOVE
I OWN THIS
EVERY MORNING HE SAYS SOMETHING DIFFERENT ABOUT HOW THE WORLD NEEDS YOU AND YOU HAVE TO GET UP
AND WHEN YOU PRESS THE BUTTON TO HUSH HIM HE SAYS “DEFTLY DONE, MADAM,” OR “IF IT’S NOT TOO FORWARD OF ME, THAT DID TICKLE, MADAM”
IT WAKES YOU UP WITH THE SOUND OF CHIRPING BIRDS BEFORE STEPHEN FRY’S VOICE
EVERYONE SHOULD HAVE ONE
I NEED ONE PLEASE GET IT FOR ME PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE
It’s so charming I would feel really bad sleeping through it.
But that wouldn’t stop me.
BUY ME THIS
I WILL RIP MY HEART OUT AND SELL IT TO YOU FOR IT
I REALLY FUCKING WANT THIS
If you buy this for me I will love you 5ever
I’m just like, twitching with want. TWITCHING.
OH MY GOD, WANT.
If I don’t have this I will die.
Not want. Need.